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Walk with our family as we raise six birth children and three adopted children.

Share with us our experiences with over fifty foster children we have loved and lost.

Share our tears and fears, exasperation and frustration, love and laughter, peace and joy that each child has brought into our home and our hearts.

“I Am Worth It!”

Mission Statement

Family Preservation Family Support and the Growth and Development of the adopted child towards healing from prior abuse.

In a hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the type of house I lived in, or the kind of clothes I wore. But the world may be much different because I was important in the life of a child.

Tools for Working With (Little) People

by Steve Hargadon

An exerpt taken from:
When I am unhappy with my children’s behavior
and am preparing to take action,
I ask myself, “What tool am I using?”
There are four basic tools that I use:

1. The lowest level is the hammer.

The hammer is an instrument of brute force. It “hammers.” It pounds. Whatever it makes contact with, it dents or breaks or smashes.

2. Next are the pliers.

They are less damaging than the hammer, but are still a tool of force. Pliers are used to force, bend, or manipulate. They apply pressure and leave their own mark.

3. Next, and more of a finesse tool
than the pliers is the screwdriver.

The screwdriver is used to get down inside. It screws and tightens, and can also be used to needle, puncture or deflate. In some ways, although it doesn’t damage the surface like the hammer or the pliers, it can be even more destructive.

4.The best tool, however, is the brain.

I used a light bulb to symbolize the tool of thought and reason because light “enlightens.” It illuminates, it warms, it develops, it removes darkness and fear, and it creates understanding. It is a tool, but a different kind of tool. It is the source of creative solutions.
Sometimes helping your child try something new, like sewing. It will help them feel a sense of accomplishment and sometimes that is what they are looking for.
When we use our brain to solve problems, we are working on a completely different level than when we use tools like a hammer or pliers or a screwdriver. This, to me, is what “positive discipline” is all about.
Although the hammer and pliers and screwdriver work, they don’t accomplish long-term goals of growth, self-development, and self-discipline. And so, when spending time with my children, or disciplining them, I ask myself, “What tool am I using?”

When choosing a tool to work with people we need to ask,

“What lasting effect will this tool have?
Do I just want to get the job done, even if the lasting effects are negative?
Or, will I choose a tool that is effective to get the job done, and has positive, long-range effects?”