Tools for Working
With
(Little) People
by Steve Hargadon
An
exerpt taken from:
When I am unhappy with my children's behavior
and am preparing to take action,
I ask myself, "What tool am I using?"
There
are four basic tools that I use:
The
lowest level is the hammer.
The hammer is an instrument of brute force. It "hammers." It pounds.
Whatever it makes contact with, it dents or breaks or smashes.
Next
are the pliers.
They are less damaging than the hammer, but are still a tool of force. Pliers
are used to force, bend, or manipulate. They apply pressure and leave their
own mark.
Next, and more of a finesse tool
than the pliers is the screwdriver.
The screwdriver is used to get down inside. It screws and tightens, and can
also be used to needle, puncture or deflate. In some ways, although it doesn't
damage the surface like the hammer or the pliers, it can be even more destructive.
The
best tool, however, is the brain.
I used a light bulb to symbolize the tool of thought and reason because light
"enlightens." It illuminates, it warms, it develops, it removes darkness
and fear, and it creates understanding. It is a tool, but a different kind of
tool. It is the source of creative solutions.
When we use our brain to solve problems, we are working on a completely different
level than when we use tools like a hammer or pliers or a screwdriver. This,
to me, is what "positive discipline" is all about.
Although
the hammer and pliers and screwdriver work, they don't accomplish long-term
goals of growth, self-development, and self-discipline. And so, when spending
time with my children, or disciplining them, I ask myself, "What tool am
I using?"
When choosing a tool to work with people we need to ask,
"What lasting effect will this tool have?
Do I just want to get the job done, even if the lasting effects are negative?
Or, will I choose a tool that is effective to get the job done, and has positive,
long-range effects?"
For my children, and for my employees, I want to use tools that encourage
now and for a lifetime
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